The Beverly Hills Hotel

I've been traveling to LA for work since 2007. Probably 80 trips total. I've stayed at The Beverly Hills Hotel eleven times. The first time was in 2010, company was paying, I thought I'd arrived.

The pink building. The banana leaf wallpaper. The poolside cabanas where they filmed scenes for California-whatever shows. I remember walking through the lobby that first night thinking this is what success looks like.

That room cost $685 a night. It was a basic room. Not a suite, not a bungalow. Just a room.

Between 2010 and 2014 I stayed there four times. All on the company card. We were a tech startup that had just raised Series C, executives liked to project success. The Beverly Hills Hotel projected success.

The Polo Lounge was where we took clients. A booth at the Polo Lounge meant you were serious. Dinner for four people ran about $600 before tip. The McCarthy salad was $32. A glass of the house red was $24.

I liked the pool. I liked the grounds. I liked telling people I was staying at The Beverly Hills Hotel.

The actual room was fine. Not exceptional. The bathroom had pink tile from probably the 1980s. The shower pressure was weak. The minibar charged $8 for a bottle of water.

I didn't care at the time. The company was paying.

In 2012 I stayed there on my own money for the first time. A vacation with my wife. I booked three nights. The rate was $725 per night plus tax. Total came to $2,847.

The room we got was on the ground floor, facing the parking structure. I called the front desk. They said all other rooms were booked. I asked about the rate difference between a parking-view room and a garden-view room. Same rate. They just gave us the worse room.

I asked to speak to a manager. The manager offered us a $50 dining credit. Not a room change. A dining credit.

That $50 covered about half of one breakfast at the Fountain Coffee Room. Two eggs, toast, coffee, fresh juice. The bill was $94 with tip.

Everyone talks about the bungalows. Marilyn Monroe stayed in one. Elizabeth Taylor stayed in one. Howard Hughes lived in one for years.

In 2016 I finally booked a bungalow. One night. $2,100. I wanted to see what the fuss was about.

The bungalow was nice. Private entrance. Small patio with citrus trees. More space than a regular room. The bathroom was bigger.

The furniture was old. Not vintage-charming old. Just old. The sofa fabric was worn at the edges. The carpeting had a stain near the closet that housekeeping had clearly tried and failed to remove.

At $2,100 a night I expected perfection. I did not get perfection. I got a bigger room with the same weak shower pressure.

In 2014 the Sultan of Brunei, who owns the hotel through the Dorchester Collection, implemented Sharia law in his country. Stoning for adultery and homosexuality. Hollywood announced a boycott. Jay Leno protested outside. Ellen talked about it on her show.

I stopped staying there. Many people I knew stopped staying there. The boycott went on for years. Some people still won't stay there.

In 2019 Brunei said they wouldn't enforce the death penalty provisions. The boycott faded. I went back in 2020, right before Covid. The hotel looked exactly the same. Pink walls. Banana leaf wallpaper. $795 a night for a basic room.

I looked up rates last month. A standard room is $1,150 per night. That's the base rate, weeknight, off-peak. Peak season weekends go higher.

A bungalow starts at $3,500. The Presidential Bungalow is $15,000 per night.

Valet parking is $65. Not overnight. Per use. You leave in the morning, come back in the afternoon, that's $130.

The pool cabanas are $600 to $1,200 for the day. Just to sit by the pool in a reserved spot.

I stay at the Sunset Tower when I'm in LA on my own money. $450 a night. The rooms are smaller. The pool is smaller. Nobody cares.

The Sunset Tower has a good restaurant. The staff recognizes me because I've been going for years. The shower pressure is fine.

When the company pays, I stay at the Waldorf Astoria Beverly Hills. Opened in 2017. Everything is new. The bathrooms work. The rooms have actual views. It costs about the same as the Beverly Hills Hotel. Sometimes less.

The Beverly Hills Hotel trades on history. That history is real. Marilyn Monroe really did stay there. The Rat Pack really did drink at the Polo Lounge. But history doesn't fix a weak shower.